How to Support Someone with Anxiety Without Being Awkward About It

Alright, so someone you care about has anxiety, and you’re wondering how not to make it worse. Relax. First of all, the fact that you’re even thinking about it already makes you an awesome human. But I get it—knowing exactly what to do or say can feel like a minefield.

The good news? Just being there helps more than you think. But if you’re looking for more ways to show up without putting your foot in it, you’ve come to the right place. Here’s some advice on how to help someone with anxiety without turning into their unsolicited therapist.

Step One: Validate, Don’t Invalidate

Here’s the deal: when someone’s anxious, they might feel like they’re the only person in the world dealing with it. Spoiler alert: they’re not. Anxiety is everywhere. In fact, about 264 million people worldwide are wrestling with it, according to the World Health Organization. So, if your friend or loved one is feeling anxious, they’re not alone—and that’s a message worth sharing.

But here’s the kicker: just because it’s common doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park. So, let them know that feeling anxious is okay, you’re there to listen, and there are loads of ways to manage it. No need to launch into “here’s how to fix you” mode. Just validate what they’re feeling and leave the superhero cape at home.

Step Two: Zip It and Listen

Now, this one might sound simple, but trust me—it’s harder than it looks. When someone’s anxious, one of the best things you can do is listen. That’s it. No need to swoop in with solutions or tell them to “just relax” (trust me, it’s not helpful). Simply give them a safe space to talk, even if they’re not making a whole lot of sense at the moment.

As Jill E. Daino, a therapist, says: “Listening without judgement is priceless.” So, pop the kettle on, let them vent, and resist the urge to give your version of a TED Talk on managing anxiety.

Step Three: Be There (Without the Grand Gestures)

Look, we all have our own lives to lead. You’re not expected to become a 24/7 anxiety hotline (and let’s be honest, no one wants that). But just letting someone know that you’ll make time for them when they need it is worth more than any grand gesture.

It’s like this: simply showing up when you can, in whatever way you can, means the world. Whether it’s a text, a quick check-in, or making time for a chat when they need it, your presence is the real gift here.

Step Four: Offer Practical Help (When Asked)

We all know that one person who’s forever offering unsolicited advice. Don’t be that person. Instead, wait for them to ask if they need practical help. And when they do, it’s your time to shine. Maybe it’s helping them tick off their to-do list, or offering to tag along to an appointment. Whatever it is, let them set the pace.

As the team at Mind says, “Support their decisions and let them lead.” Basically, you’re a co-pilot, not the captain here. Follow their lead and be patient.

Step Five: Encourage a Bit of Self-Care (No Bubble Baths Required)

Now, self-care isn’t all bubble baths and yoga (although if that’s their thing, go for it). It’s about finding little ways to take the pressure off. Encourage your mate to slow down with activities that help them relax, whether that’s reading a book instead of doom-scrolling before bed or going for a walk in the park.

The experts at Anxiety UK also recommend that you try to keep the relationship balanced—don’t let anxiety be the only topic of conversation. It doesn’t define them, so remind them of all the other amazing things they’re capable of, too.

Step Six: Look After Yourself, Too

Here’s the thing—you can’t pour from an empty cup. Supporting someone with anxiety is great, but if you’re running on empty, you’re not going to be much help to them—or yourself. Make sure you’re taking care of your own needs, sticking to your routine, and knowing when to step back. You’re not a superhero, and that’s okay.

Step Seven: Know When It’s Time for the Pros

Sometimes, anxiety can be a little too much to handle on your own. That’s when it’s time to call in the cavalry, aka the professionals. There are a ton of organisations out there ready to help, whether it’s direct support for your loved one or advice for you as a carer. It’s not about giving up—sometimes you just need a bit of extra support.

Here are some places to start:

• Anxiety UK – Offers downloadable resources, breathing exercises, and support groups. Give them a ring on 03444 775 774.
• Mind – Call 0300 123 3393 for advice, or email info@mind.org.uk.
• Samaritans – For immediate support, ring their free 24-hour helpline at 116 123.

Final Thoughts

Supporting someone with anxiety isn’t about having all the answers or fixing their problems. It’s about showing up, listening, and being a bit of a rock in a stormy sea. Just remember: you’re not expected to be perfect, and neither are they. So, be there, but also take care of yourself. You’ve got this.